


Friday the Thirteenth

by Hardrada



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27544789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hardrada/pseuds/Hardrada
Summary: How do you summarise fluff?  Bones wonders if Jim is superstitious.  Jim laughs at the thought.  Not such a good idea...
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Comments: 13
Kudos: 28





	Friday the Thirteenth

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short bit of fluffy nonsense for a traditionally bad luck day. 
> 
> As ever, thanks to everyone who comments / leaves kudos. Means the world and more.
> 
> I'm over on tumblr as @hardrada if you want to come by and say hello sometime.

_**Friday the Thirteenth** _

“Are you superstitious?” Bones was curious, although it wasn’t something that he was desperate to know. Jim snorted and didn’t answer, but now he’d asked the question, Bones wanted to know the answer, so he prodded Jim in the side and asked again, “are you superstitious?”

“No”. Jim sounded as close to scornful as he ever got. He was an outstandingly laid-back captain, and had grown into a generally laid-back man (something of a miracle to those who had known him in his Academy days), but he was the only person (other than himself, Bones acknowledged) who could put so much feeling into a single word.

“So seeing a single magpie, for example: that wouldn’t worry you?”

Jim wriggled most pleasingly until he was able to flip over onto his stomach, propping his chin on his hands. “No, Leonard, a single mapgie - hang on, that’s not right - magpie - would not send me screaming for the hills”. He paused, his eyes distant and then he focused on Bones again. “I may have had rather too much to drink”.

“You think so, love?” Bones laughed, stroking Jim’s arm. “I did try and warn you about that brandy, but would you listen?”

“Well, you do go on a bit”, Jim said, not entirely unfairly. “This being a point in - nope, hang on - case in point. What brought this on?”

“Well, I’ve been reading one of your old books”, Bones said. “They’re really unhygienic, by the way. Think of all the people who’ve touched that paper”.

“That’s what makes them so special”, Jim’s arm gave way and he faceplanted into his pillow, then shifted so that he could breathe. “And anyway, don’t think I haven’t seen all those books you have by the old Greek guys. It’s thanks to you I can say ‘Thucydides’” He smirked. “Even when drunk”. He scrubbed his face against the pillow. “Anyway, carry on”.

“Thank you, dear. So one of the many weird books you have lying around is about Earth superstitions. So I was wondering - are you superstitious?”

“First, not ‘lying about’, don’t be rude. Second, call me ‘dear’ once more and I’ll bite you. And C, no I’m not”.

“Because in Old Earth measurements, it’s Friday the 13th tomorrow, and that’s a really unlucky day”.  
“Not for me, my darling, my dear”, Jim said brightly. “For I have you, we have leave and I have had many drinks”. He reached out to cup Bones’ face. “I was born lucky”.

“Right answer”. Bones rolled over and with the ease of long practice, had Jim trapped under him in a matter of milliseconds.

“Good move”, Jim said appreciatively. “Never fails to impress”.

“Never fails to work”. Bones smiled in a way that was positively wolfish. “So, time to stop the smart mouth I think”.

Jim’s only answer was something best described as a squeak.  
__

The next morning Jim woke up sore, mildly hungover and wrapped comfortably in Bones’ arms. And in desperate need of the bathroom. Adroitly, he slithered out of Bones’ grip, considered how hilarious it would be to replace himself with a pillow and then headed across the room.

Business taken care of, he took the time to freshen up so that he felt mildly more human and then turned to leave. The hotel they were staying in had old-fashioned bathrooms, which meant you had to press a button to open the door. As he did that, he heard the _pop_ before he felt the charge surge up his arm.

“Ow, fuck!” He pulled back and shook his hand. “Oh, you bastard!” He reached out and then realised he was actually locked in the bathroom. “Oh, for god’s sake!” He kicked the door. “Bones! Bones, wake up and - er, I’m locked in the bathroom”. 

There was a short silence and then Bones’ voice, vaguely disbelieving. “You’re locked in the bathroom? How in tarnation…?”

“Any other time I’d have you for tarnation, but the damn lock shorted out, gave me a shock and now I can’t get out - and don’t worry, it was a mild shock, I’m not going to die”.

“Well, we’re Starfleet educated, we can work this out. A hefty kick? A bread knife? A butter knife?”

“A smack in the head?” Jim kicked the door. “Stop enjoying it and get me out. Is there an emergency release?”

“Why would there be?” Bones’ voice was genuinely puzzled. “Why would there be an emergency release on a _bathroom door_?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Just in case the lock shorts out for example?” Jim scowled at the door. “I can hear you, you know. You’re enjoying this far too much”.

“I am enjoying it”, Bones admitted. “But I’ll come to the rescue, fear not”. The door hissed open and Bones stood there in all his glorious nakedness, holding what looked like a hairpin.

“I don’t even want to know where you keep that”, Jim said, stepping out. “You enjoyed that. You’ll pay”.

“Promises, promises”. Bones kissed Jim’s cheek. “Friday the thirteenth”.

“Oh shut up”.

__

“So, did you know that if you step on the cracks in the pavement, that counts as bad luck?” Bones was on roll here.

“So what happens if I step on a crack and then see a magpie?”

“Something painful, I expect”, Bones said mildly.

Jim looked deliberately at Bones and stepped on a crack in the pavement. He grinned really quite evilly and stepped on another, arms out to the side as he pretended to balance. The he turned round, smiled again, took another step without looking and fell down the kerb, landing on his ankle. He hopped for a few steps and then stopped, favouring the other foot. He held up a hand as Bones opened his mouth.

“I’m fine”, he said. “Honestly, my Bones, I’m fine”.

Bones ignored him and crouched down to check Jim’s ankle, much to his embarrassment. “Bones!” he hissed, “I’m fine, stop it!” Then he yelped as Bones hit a sensitive part and pulled his foot away. “Ow”.

“Idiot”. Bones stood up. “When will you learn to look where you’re going?”

“Will you get up?” Jim hissed back in return. “Or if you’re going to stay down there, make use of the position you’re in”. He smirked as Bones huffed and stood up. “Do you think it’s because I stepped on a crack in the pavement?”

“That, or you’re abnormally clumsy”, Bones said. “Sweetheart, you fall over things so often, or walk into things so often, every day is Friday the thirteenth for you”.

“Flatterer”. Jim hooked Bones with his arm and pulled him close. “Come on, let’s go find some breakfast”.

That afternoon they saw a single magpie. Jim laughed when Bones pointed it out. Half an hour later he sliced his hand open, apparently by cutting it on a dandelion. Bones rolled his eyes, Jim swore a lot and neither of them mentioned the word ‘magpie’.

“Maybe we should just go back to the hotel”, Bones said as he sat with Jim, both of them watching the regen machine doing its work. “You’d be safe there”.

“Safe?” Jim stared at Bones, obviously at a loss. “From what? Clumsiness is the gift that keeps on giving, my friend. You know me; I could be sitting in a chair minding my own business and a brick could land on my head”.

“Didn’t that happen once?” Bones dipped his head and kissed Jim’s shoulder.

“Funny man”. Jim laughed at the thought of it.

__

They got back to the hotel with no further incidents, and after a leisurely dinner they went to bed where Bones, Jim’s glasses perched on the end of his nose (because he refused to admit he needed his own pair) read through his messages, and Jim scrolled through Bones’ PAD, looking at books on superstition.

_Friday the Thirteenth_ , he read, and then got lost in a weird maze of esoteric theories about Judas Iscariot and Knights Templar. He could actually feel his eyes beginning to cross from the sheer boredom. Surely this couldn’t be it? He was hoping for more - well, drama, quite frankly.

“Okay”, he said aloud. “Magpies…”

He read for a moment before raising the PADD ready to throw it across the room. Without seeming to look, Bones reached out, grabbed his wrist, and said “Just don’t”.

“Makes no sense”, Jim said. “How can more than one magpie be lucky and only one be bad luck? There could be one in the street and one hiding in the tree. What does that mean, suddenly your luck goes from bad to good?”

“Stop trying to read sense into superstition”, said Bones, still not looking up. “It’s folklore”.

“It’s fucking stupid”, Jim grumped. He climbed out of bed and winced as his ankle twinged. “Because we’re both sitting in bed reading like the middle-aged couple we are, I have an urge for hot chocolate. Want some?”

Bones looked up. “You gonna make your special stuff?”

Jim nodded. “This room may not have much in the way of modern conveniences, but it at least has enough gear for me to do that”.

“And you brought all the ingredients?” Bones smiled. “Now who’s coming over all domestic?”

Jim cast a grin over his shoulder. “Naked hot chocolate making. It’s the next big thing.”

Bones nodded. “If they all look like you it’ll catch on”.

Five minutes later, Jim was back in bed, curled into the crook of Bones’ arm as they cradled their hot chocolate. It really was delicious.

“You don’t really believe in superstition, do you?” he asked Bones, who had put down his PADD as he no longer had a free hand. He had put some music on, very quietly, and the light were dim. It was damn near perfect.

“I believe in this”, he said. “I believe in what’s happening right now, right here”. He blew across the surface of the hot chocolate before taking a sip. “Never thought I’d be this damn happy”. He tilted his cheek until it was resting against Jim’s hair.

“Amazing what hot chocolate can do”, Jim said. He nestled closer, putting his own drink on the bedside table. “I believe in this as well. This has nothing to do with superstition and ancient belief. This is real”. He took Bones’ drink and added it to his own, then turned back, smiling softly, that smile that Bones had never been able to resist, and he certainly didn’t plan to start fighting now.

“Yeah”, he agreed, pressing Jim down into the bed. “This is real”.

__

Two days later, Jim broke a mirror and then walked into a glass door. Mild concussion, nothing to worry about. They left the medical centre where Jim, without realising it, walked under a ladder. Later that day he accidentally ate goat’s cheese and ended up flat on the floor, barely able to breathe and wanting to scream as every muscle in his body cramped.

“It’s okay, love”, Bones said, one hand stroking through Jim’s hair in a way that always soothed him, the other administering the hypospray that would calm him down again. “You’ll be fine in a second. You’ll be fine”. He shook his head as Jim tried to say something. “Don’t”, he said, “don’t speak. Wait until you’re okay. You’ll be fine”. He leaned down and kissed Jim’s sweaty forehead, grounding him, comforting him and slowly, slowly Jim’s breathing calmed down and he stopped making that noise that made Bones want to put his hands over his ears; the noise that made it sound like Jim was dying.

Finally though, Jim was lying on the floor of the restaurant, head in Bones’ lap, wheezing and coughing, tears streaming down his face, his body still cramping up, but finally, finally able to breathe and able to focus on Bones’ upside-down face and raise a feeble hand to rest against Bones’ where it held him.

“Fuck”, was all he was able to say.

“Wordsmith”. Bones smiled. “Okay?”

Jim nodded, his eyes beginning to close again, this time in weariness as the adrenaline rush wore off. “Tired”.

“We’ll get back to the hotel”, Bones said. “You can sleep it off there”.

“Sorry”, he muttered, barely loud enough for Bones to hear.

“Nothing to be sorry about”, Bones said immediately. “I can handle a night watching you sleep”. He smoothed back the hair from Jim’s forehead and smiled softly. “One of my favourite things”.

“I think I believe in superstitions”, Jim said later, as he lay tucked into bed, eyes closed and heavy with sleep. He could hear Bones moving around the room, doing whatever he did. Probably restocking his secret hypo stash if Jim actually had to put money on it.

“Sleep”, was all Bones said. “You’ll feel better once you’ve slept. I’m a doctor, I know what I’m talking about”

“Love you, my Bones”. He turned and scrubbed his face against the pillow and then wrapped himself in the blankets.

“Love you too”. Jim smiled at the response.

__

The next day he woke slowly, still far from his usual fizzing energy. He ached everywhere, and felt old and tired.

“How you doing, love?” Bones was beside him, because Bones was always beside him, and that was fine by Jim. He smiled, not ready to open his eyes.

“I’m okay”, he said. “I’ll be better soon”.

“And we add goat’s cheese to the list”. Bones’ voice was so resigned that Jim laughed, then coughed, and finally opened his eyes. 

“Hey”.

Bones was, yet again, wearing Jim’s glasses as he read his PADD. He looked sensational.

“In answer to your question”, he said quietly. “Yes, I’m superstitious”.

Bones laughed softly and nodded. “I think that’s for the best”. He leaned down and kissed Jim, letting himself be pulled down into a hug.

“You’re my talisman”. Jim’s breath was warm against Bones’ ear. “You have to stay with me forever otherwise a mirror will fall on my head, or I’ll be pecked to death by a single magpie. A single, hardworking magpie, I guess. Although knowing my luck he’d invite all his single friends, so I’d actually be pecked to death by a bunch of bitter, lonely magpies”.

Bones laughed. “You are seriously weird”, he said. 

“But you’ll be my forever talisman?”

“Oh, you can count on that, kid. I’ll be your forever”.

Jim thought about making a smart remark, just for a moment, but decided that actually it was the most romantic thing he’d ever heard and he wasn’t going to open his fool mouth.

He liked the thought of Bones as his forever.

The End


End file.
